How To: Speaking and The Power Of Silence

Do you notice how few people are truly comfortable with silence?

This silence I’m talking about is the flip side of the compulsion to interrupt that I wrote about last week.

 SILENCE IS ONE OF YOUR MOST POWERFUL SPEAKING TOOLS

The very idea that silence has value or is powerful may sound strange coming from a
“speaking coach,” but I can assure you that if you begin to understand and use it, it
will change your speaking life.

In fact, silence is one of your most powerful speaking tools of all in both your life and work.

SILENCE IS A LOST ART

Today silence is a lost art. We live in a culture of people who are moving so fast and demanding so much of themselves, everyone hardly stop to breathe let alone take a few moments of silence to reflect upon ourselves and our lives.

As a consequence, we become out of touch with ourselves, the people and the world around us.

ARE WE ALL FOOLS?

Abraham Lincoln said, ” ‘Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

Ouch.
We’ve all been in situations where we watched someone
open up their mouths without thinking, at home or at work, and really blow it.

More than once, I have let my mouth get ahead of my mind and heart, and then said something I wish I hadn’t, regretting my words the instant they leave my lips.

For all of us, forgetting to take even a brief moment of silence to
think about what we are going to say or it’s potential impact can have serious
and long term ramifications on both our business and personal relationships.

THE POWER OF SILENCE:

Here are four ways you can explore the power of silence in your daily life.

1. At Home:

Instead of filling every moment of your life with activity, from the moment you start your day until you come skidding into bed at night,  take a few moments of silence throughout the day to stop, close your eye and  take just four long, deep belly breaths.

Even a few short calming breaths can slow you down from a “human doing” to a “human being” and this can make all the difference in how you see your world.

2. At Work:

Rather than racing, racing racing all day doing doing doing all day at work, take a few moments to stop and really listen to what one person at work is saying to you.

Leave a slight silent gap in the space between what they say  and your response. Notice that by slowing yourself down, you actually hear and see more about them than when you are just waiting to get a word in edgewise or when you interrupt.

3. In Your Daily Speaking At Work and At Home:

When you are speaking at the podium, to your partner, your family or colleagues, try to leave a bit of space between thoughts as you are speaking. This tiny little gap of silence can make your speaking quite powerful.

Usually, one of the reasons that “Ummms” get into our speeches is that we are talking and thinking so fast, we need time for our brain to catch up with our mouths and we insert an “Ummmm” to hold that space.

However, even a little bit of silence in your speaking will slow you down and make you more understandable. Silence in your speaking also allows your audience, whomever they are, to stay with you and understand your points better.

4. In Your Spiritual Practice:

Taking just as few as five to twenty minutes of silence every morning can change the way your entire day goes. Some may call this time one of prayer, reflection or meditation. Whatever you wish to call it, this quiet time of silence gives your mind, your body and your mouth an opportunity to slow down and restore balance to your mind, body and spirit.

As you listen to yourself and others and embrace the gifts of silence, your world will begin to shift.

HOW HAS THE POWER OF SILENCE HELPED YOU?

Observe yourself for just one day. Pick one of the silence exercises listed above and try it.

I would love to know how it goes for you and what you notice about yourself and others as a result of allowing just a little bit of silence into your and others worlds.

How has exploring the power of silence helped you?