Speaking Tip Of The Day: A Conversation With Your Fears

The poet Rilke said, “Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” Rather than trying to silence them, consider fear and anxiety as important signals from a part of you that is seeking your love and support.

This part if you, which manifests in the words and images of catastrophe, believes it is its duty to protect you from what it is convinced is a potentially devastating consequence. Fear thinks it is its job to scare you into abandoning the idea of giving a speech and believes it must protect you from deep humiliation, embarrassment, disappointment or failure.

Let your fears know that they are welcome and that you need all their valuable energy and support in your gas tank, not in front of your car screaming, ìGet out while you still can!î  Talk with your fears. Ask them, “What do you want me to know?” If you listen closely, you may learn that your fear is actually a deep feeling of helplessness.

These feelings of helplessness can actually be great sources of information and power. For many clients, once their long held internal images of catastrophe are finally spoken, they see them as so outrageous or far-fetched that they find themselves actually laughing out loud. The relief of finally giving your fears a voice can have a truly transformative effect.

A new understanding of your fears releases tremendous energy, potential and promotes peace of mind. Rather than a perpetual internal battle with those annoying little weaselsî torturous and debilitating inner fears transform into true allies. Preparing for that dreaded speech becomes a satisfying challenge.

Remember that just like your audience, you bring a unique set of circumstances, history, and experience to the public speaking process. If you explore your own unique internal universe, find out what your fears and inner voices are saying, and then compassionately respond to them, the writing, editing and performance of your speech can be accomplished in an atmosphere of anticipation, potential and possibility.