Thou Shalt Not Lie…Truthfully

COMMUNICATION SKILLLS FROM THE AMERICAN PERSPECTIVE

Recent research shows that the average American lies on average 30 times a day. I thought this statistic was rather amazing and somewhat shocking.

You may not think this statistic applies to you, but really think about it for a moment.

Aside from the outright bald faced lies we all tell, how many times a week are you having, like Alexander in one of my favorite children’s stories, a “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” Then someone comes up to you, asks you how you are, and you smile and say “Fine. Thank you.”

How about when someone at work or in your life achieves a “Big Win” and you are really jealous or envious of them. You’d rather see them choke and die.  But you go up to them anyway and say “Hey man, I’m really happy for you!” when honestly, you’re not.

And then there’s the ever popular, “What did you think of my new recipe for, say, meat loaf, tuna casserole or anything from the Raw Food Diet?” As you are trying not to gag, you smile and say instead to your friend, spouse or partner, “It was great. I loved it.”

So as you can see, this lying 30 times a day statistic includes not only our outright lies, but all the little fibbing we do all the time.

 THE CHINESE FORTUNE COOKIE PERSPECTIVE ON LYING

I once got a fortune from a Chinese fortune cookie and it read:

“Always tell the truth. It gives you much less to remember.”

Since most of our memories are failing now anyway, do you suppose that this is a kind of Cosmic Insurance Policy school of thought?

BUT WHAT IF WE TOLD THE TRUTH ALL THE TIME?

But really, what would happen if we told the truth, all the time, no exceptions, no matter what the outcome?

Well, most people think probably all hell would break loose.

THE BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE ON TELLING THE TRUTH

Well, here’s the Buddhist Perspective on the subject. The Buddhists believe that you need to meditate every day and you must
examine your heart six times a day or your Buddhist practice just doesn’t work. Nothing
happens. According to the Buddhists, it is probably the most important part of one’s Buddhism: six
times a day you check your vows. How many vows do you have? Every
Buddhist is trying to keep “The Ten.”

(BTW, I will be covering each of “THE TEN” in subsequent blogs so don’t get your knickers in a twist if I don’t spell them all out right this second.) 

If you don’t have any vows in your life, try at least one today on for size. This one, (and the other nine,) should keep you busy trying to master for, I would guess, only about the rest of your life.

Today I am especially interested in Vow Number 4: Try to be totally truthful all day long.

Geshe Michael Roach, Buddhist Teacher, Founder of the Enlightened Business Institute, and author of the wonderful book, “The Diamond Cutter: The Buddha on How To Manage Your Business and Your Life”  talks a lot about how to keep the Buddhist Vows, at home and even at work.

Here’s what Geshe Roach has to say about #4:

DROP YOUR COFFEE CUP

“So, are you required to
tell someone how bad their dress looks who asks you for your opinion?
Change the subject, okay? Drop your coffee cup. If it would hurt the
person in some terrible way, make them very angry, if it’s very
destructive, you can just sort of slide out of it.”. 

I believe that in our day to day walk to develop an honorable life, and from Geshe Roach’s perspecive a solid Buddhist practice, it’s all pretty straightforward:

Geshe Roach’s says it’s “No more glorious than that. No Mother Teresa stuff, no Mahatma Gandhi stuff. This is what you get enlightened on. I’m not kidding, real life. Real life minor examples that are really happening to you. You keep up your Buddhist principles at this microcosmic level, and you’ll be a saint in quick order. It’s the small things that make saints. You only get a chance to be Joan of Arc once in a lifetime. The rest of the time she milked the cows, right? Enlightenment is built on these minor specific things that you do.”

ONE SMALL STEP TO SAINTHOOD

So next time someone asks your opinion on something and the honest
truth will cause them harm in any way, is destructive or cruel, think twice. Say something truly truthful and be kind or
nothing at all. You’ll feel better in the long run and so will they. Plus you will be one step closer to Enlightenment.

And just think, you can call yourself an extraordinary American, a person who is above the average, and you’ll have at least one statistic to prove it.